Impeding Dawn
by Danyu
Summary: KaworuxShinji. The first and last night Shinji and Kaworu spend together, they both wish for the morning not to come. Though for different reasons. ONESHOT.


"_Your heart is fragile, like glass…for that you have earned my affection…"_

"_I'm saying…I love you."_

"_I think I was born to meet you, Shinji-kun."_

Kaworu's words resounded heedlessly through Shinji's mind, creating in him a tempest of delight, wariness, sadness and last of all, hope. Hope: an emotion, an entity, a phenomenon Shinji had not been familiar with for a very long time.

Words of love, of acceptance echoed through his mind, ingraining them into his heart as he allowed himself to be pressed back against the blankets of his makeshift bed, heard the soft clink of his belt being unbuckled as he obediently raised his hips to allow his slacks to be removed, underwear and all. The cold he felt in his nudity was immediately chased away by Kaworu's warmth as he pressed into him once more.

Kaworu kissed him, his tongue teasingly tracing along his lower lip, and his obligingly parted them, allowing him to deepen the contact. He sank into the heady feeling accompanying the kiss, his hands clutching at his companion's shoulders, moaning with protest as he touched fabric. He slid his hands downward, his fingers fumbling with the buttons to the paler boy's shirt.

Kaworu's mouth curved into a smile against his neck as he drew upward, allowing the shirt to fall way, and Shinji lay prostrate beneath him, mesmerized yet frightened, so scared to find that the moment he reached out, the vision above him would disappear and be nothing more than another dream.

Kaworu smiled as he braced his arms on either side of them, kissing him slowly, languorously, murmuring softly against his mouth. "What is it you fear, Shinji? Is it my touch? The intimacy I offer? Or the fact that you want to touch me in return…?"

Shinji swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat. "I…I fear…I have no idea which it is I fear. I just…I want to feel you, but…it frightens me."

Kaworu nuzzled his neck, gently kissing the tender skin he found there. "There's nothing to be scared of. I'm here, and you trust me…don't you, Shinji?"

"Yes…I trust you. More than I've trusted anyone before."

"Then no more words, Shinji," Kaworu whispered against his ear, eliciting a quiet whimper from the boy beneath him as he traced his tongue along the outer shell, "Just let me show you."

Actions would speak louder than words with this one. He had already said so much, all he could say- then he had watched the strange expression of pained confusion and wary hope that crossed this delicate child's features every time he spoke. Now, now he would show him exactly what this strange feeling called love could mean, and there would be no more room for hesitation or disbelief.

Kaworu was beautiful, more so than Shinji could have ever imagined, smooth expanses of alabaster skin pulled taut over a finely muscled physique, a lean body levering over him in blatant contrast to his own thin frame. Shinji pressed his hands to his lover's back, slowly exploring the contours of hard muscle and soft skin, the sharp angle of the shoulder blades, the delicate slope dipping downward before his fingers met with the band of dark pants.

Their eyes met, russet-red to midnight blue, and the shared gaze never faltered as Shinji loosened Kaworu's belt. The only audible sound was the silky sound of a zipper unfastening, and Kaworu arched upward to allow the trousers to slip over his hips. Shinji's eyes squeezed closed, a soft sound of gratification escaping his lips as Kaworu lowered himself over him once more.

Kisses, caresses, swathes of tongue and gentle nips of teeth- so many exchanged that they lost count. Whimpers and moans mingled in an ardent chorus with harsh, ragged breathing. Their bodies entwined, straining and tensing with arousal and need.

"You're beautiful," Kaworu whispered to him in a husky, low tone, as he traced his tongue along his navel, teasingly nipping at the younger boy's hip. "I've never seen something so beautiful."

He pressed his fingers between Shinji's flanks, gently prodding. He whispered for him to relax, soothingly kissing his temple as he murmured against his dark hair. "You feel so delicate, so fragile in my arms that you feel as if I could break you. But then you open your eyes to look at me, I can feel how strong you can be. Open your eyes for me, Shinji. Show me your strength."

There was pain as the gray-haired boy slid into him, but Shinji did as he has asked, locking eyes with him. The sharp ache came into one more burst as Kaworu entered him fully. His breathing was erratic and unsteady as his lover's weight pressed his back against the floor, and his body slowly adjusted to the invasion. A new feeling stirred in his nether regions, an unfamiliar ache that caused him to shift against Kaworu restlessly, lifting his hips in an unconscious plea.

Kaworu groaned in response, pushing himself forward, awakening a need inside them both as instinct took precedence. The awkwardness in their slow, jerky movements became the slow, sensuous rhythm of lovemaking. Shinji's fingers tangled in soft, gray hair, arching his back to meet every thrust as Kaworu moved inside him. Panting breath mingled between them, their heartbeats thundering in a twin cadence like the steady beating of a drum.

A sudden shift in position, causing his lover to delve deeper than before, and Shinji's quivered with a sudden pleasure. Beads of sweat blinded his eyes as his legs spread further, locking around slender hips. Their pace grew feverish, sinking further and further into delirium as the ecstasy of climax finally came. Their bodies tensed, their breath stolen away as they rode the waves of pleasure. They slowly calmed, as Shinji felt Kaworu soften inside him, still moving above him.

His hips lifted to meet the slow, rocking rhythm even after orgasm passed, not wanting to lose their connection. His heartbeat slowed, his breath grew steady, and his body grew more languid, heavier with satiated satisfaction until they finally collapsed together, arms embracing to hold the other close.

Shinji sighed softly as Kaworu's comforting weight sank against him. He pressed his face to the crook of his neck, breathing in the subtle, rich scent of his lover. He accepted Kaworu's kiss joyfully, whispering against his lips the three words given to him so many times that day and evening.

"Kaworu…?"

"Hmm?"

Shinji slid his arms around Kaworu, kissing his neck, his jaw and his lips. "Again? Please? I don't want to feel anything but you…not tonight…"

Kaworu gazed down at his boy that had stolen his heart, took in his gentle smile, his soft, love-filled eyes, and the transformation was beautiful. He knew that the morning would eventually, and with that impending dawn, he would not able to deny what he truly was, and his betrayal of this tender heart would be complete.

But for now, he could pretend he was as vulnerable and as beautiful as this Lillim trapped beneath him. As he began to move once more inside this boy who would soon be forced into manhood, he wished- idly, hopelessly- wished, that he never had to stop, that he could love this boy completely, eternally, and never have to see the coming of the dawn.


End file.
